I read a post about motherhood last week and it made me think about the choices I make as a mother and woman. The perspective of the blogger was that during the time when our children are young we pretty much give so much of ourselves, that we lose ourselves for 10-15 years. This particular blogger had accepted this fate like a badge of honour.
My perspective is that, in general our society has us trained to think that success is measured by how much of ourselves we lose in whatever is at the centre of our lives, career, wifehood, motherhood etc. Whoever is the busiest must be the most successful and I was a slave to this mentality. I eventually reached a point in my career life, where I felt that if I wasn't putting in more than 40 hours a week, I was slacking. The result of this lifestyle for me, was that my relationships suffered, my spiritual life was non existent and my mental health was a roller coaster, I was so caught up I didn't even see what was going on.
Motherhood has opened my eyes to so many things and one being that I need to take care of myself very well, to properly care for everyone in my life that I am responsible for. Of all the jobs I have been blessed with, motherhood is the most demanding.
Self care will look different for everyone but for me, in the midst of the chaos of raising young children I will find time to read the bible, pray and attend church, be physically active, nap, go on dates with my husband, read my fav magazines, care for my skin and hang out with my friends and I will not feel bad about it.
My house will not be the cleanest but I will be a better mom for my kids.
Children also learn by watching us right? So if our children don't see us finding pleasure in the simple joys life has to offer, how will they ever learn to do the same for themselves? I believe they will respect us more when they see that we are athletes, movie buffs, photography enthusiasts, yogis etc!
As I prepare for baby number two, I know I will need to work even harder to find balance and time for everything that is important to me but I think working on balance on a regular basis is the only way to sustain it. Balance is not something that just happens and as one of my favourite bloggers/entrepreneurs, Joy Cho has stated before, its more of a constant juggling act than a balance, you need to continually work at it and adjust as priorities change in our lives.
Staying in touch with who I am through a period that is very demanding on my time, is just as important to me as raising awesome people but for me to do that job well, I must ensure my tank is full. I understand some sacrifice is required but I am not willing to give all of myself.
As I prepare for baby number two, I know I will need to work even harder to find balance and time for everything that is important to me but I think working on balance on a regular basis is the only way to sustain it. Balance is not something that just happens and as one of my favourite bloggers/entrepreneurs, Joy Cho has stated before, its more of a constant juggling act than a balance, you need to continually work at it and adjust as priorities change in our lives.
Staying in touch with who I am through a period that is very demanding on my time, is just as important to me as raising awesome people but for me to do that job well, I must ensure my tank is full. I understand some sacrifice is required but I am not willing to give all of myself.
What are your thoughts on the topic, I would love to know.
2 comments:
It's tough and definitely harder with the arrival of the second baby. i thi k it's important to try to take time for yourself, but it can be difficult, especially after returning to work (if that's your calling). I find that I have started to have to really prioritize the things in my life. As a vice principal, I've been lucky to have worked with women as principals who truly understand that family comes first, but I have a hard time feeling guilty if I'm ignoring a work obligation. But guilty too, if I'm missing a swimming lesson or family event. I need to work on that. I keep thinking that when they're a bit older, I'll have more time for myself, but it doesn't change that I need to be here for them now. I'm of Irish Catholic descent, so guilt and worry are imbedded in my genes. I keep hoping I'll grow out of it, but at 36 it hasn't happened yet�� I'm a work in progress and that's okay��
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Liz. You are a successful wife, mother and career woman with many responsibilities and from what I can see you are doing a great job in all your roles. I have worked through a lot of my own guilt (I am Irish too, lol) but I just think, if I am choosing to spend my time on something, why rob myself of truly enjoying what I am doing, by worrying about something else I could be doing. We can only do so much and your doing a lot! Thanks again for reading and sharing, it means a lot to me to hear your opinion on the matter.
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