33 Weeks

Here is where I am at this past week. I am 33 weeks pregnant, I have little accomplished on my "Get Done Before Baby Arrives To Do List" and I am feeling extremely unmotivated and complacent about it. The last few days I had to ride out some emotions. I have been here before, emotionally mixed up and not sure what to do about it, do you ever get like that? Tell me I am not alone in this place here people.

Please don't take my little emotional sharing as a lack of gratitude for the healthy baby growing inside and physically I feel pretty great. Like most challenges in my life, the mental struggles are always my largest obstacles to overcome and like I said, this week I have just been feeling emotionally mixed up. 

I am doing my best to soak up all the awesome one on one time I have left with Luke and at the same time feeling a little like less of the mom I use to be. It's not as comfortable for me to sit on the floor as it use to be and there is pretty much no room left for Luke in my lap when we read books together, I feel a little like I am failing sometimes.

I am also trying to find a balance with work as this time around I am not signing off for a year, I am just taking a little break and hope to be back servicing clients in November. I have had to turn a few jobs and promotional opportunities down in the end of September and throughout October because of the various unknowns of labour and baby land, and that's difficult for me to relinquish control of. 

And like most of my sharing, simply writing out my thoughts helps me to feel less anxious about the current phase I am passing through.

And I am just passing through, today was a really great day and its easier for me to share my tough feelings now that they are behind me. I am truly learning to find little joys in tough days and weeks, and comfort in the fact that I always come through the other side brighter, stronger and with greater perspective. 

Lastly I am just excited to meet this new person, introduce Luke and see our family grow. 

When I was at this point in my pregnancy with Luke the song Anticipation by Carly Simon kept playing in my head as well as, I would repeat to myself just like Dory "just keep swimming". 

Today is Friday and somehow on Fridays the world just seems a little brighter and my worries are not as big. I am feeling like I have made it through this little storm, I rode out the emotions and did my best to find the good in a few gloomy days. 

What do you think? Have you been here before and how do you ride out your mixed up emotions? 

Luke Lately

I love the way you say please and thank you.

I love the way we watch dad leave for work from the front window. 

I love your chubby little knees and how they bow in a little towards each other.

You love to be naked! 

You still love cheese. 

You need us to "hop hop hop" your bites toward your mouth to get you to eat sometimes.

When I tell you to watch out for cars you stop and crouch down where you are to look both ways. 

When your aunts and uncles are around you would prefer they help you with tasks like getting dressed or playing with certain toys.

Your dad loves to rock you to sleep every night.

Your the best adventure we have ever known and you get better everyday.

I love you to the moon and back!
Mom

Luke - 11 Months

I didn't feel sappy about Luke growing, until this 11 month mark. I am just amazed at how much Luke has changed in 1 year. Everyone tells me to enjoy every moment I can with him and honestly, I really am trying to do that and having a blast along the way.

Luke, here are some things about you right now.

You really love your dad. If he is home, you want him.

You really like me too and are feeling pretty tight with me and dad these days.

You make a loud grunt yelling noise and bang on stuff, we are pretty sure you picked this up from Grandpa Brown.

You say dada and mama and you are trying to say other words by repeating what your dad and I say.

You can climb up stairs and you can almost climb down stairs without any help.

I think by the time you are 1 year old, you will be able to walk, your getting so close.

You love music.

You are a great dancer.

You are back to snuggling a little before bed in the rocking chair, dad and I are both loving it.

You love the water! You kick your feet and splash your arms around when we help you swim. When you go to the splash pad you run right through the water fountains.

You are a sweet happy guy and we love you.

xoxo,
your mom

Artwalk & Our Beach

Sometimes the weekends pass us by and we don't get too much done around here but on those weekends, we also make pretty great memories. We are trying not to sweat the small stuff and enjoy all the fun stuff. May your weekend be filled with activities, that leave your laundry pile unfolded!

Here is a video of our activities from last weekend!

Happy weekend friends!

Luke - 5 Months

Parenthood gets more enjoyable as the days go on.  Yesterday Luke turned 5 months old and the newborn that use to sleep all day, still sleeps really great but is much more active when he is awake. 

Luke, some of your current hobbies are: 

Blowing bubbles with your tongue sticking out.  You do this so often I fear this is how you think we humans communicate.

Flapping your arms like a bird. 

Chewing on anything you can bring to your mouth, including your hands. 

Drooling, you still don't have any teeth but you definitely have the drool. 

Rolling over, you did this for the first time on Feb 3, one day before your 5 month birthday.  It was pretty awesome to watch you hit this milestone.  Now your a rolling machine. 

I think we are lucky to have cousin Blaine two months ahead of you to show us what is coming up next.  From what I can tell, things are going to keep getting busier and busier but that just means more fun!

Your dad and I love you to the moon and back!

Family Photos - Luke's First Week

We had a photo session with Shannon Turner Photography when Luke was about a week old.  Looking back at these photos I am so glad I captured this moment in our lives.  I am having so much fun being a mom, and I am more fulfilled than I could have imagined.  Having Luke has awakened the inner child in me, the day dreamer, the creator, a piece of me that I think I had been hiding for awhile.

Time is passing but I am enjoying every moment! 

Thank you Shannon for your great work, my favourite is the third one down, big yawn. 

Our First Week With Luke

Luke is one week old today, and wow, has our worlds changed in such a short period of time, in the coolest way possible.  I wanted to share the last week on my blog because I have really enjoyed chatting with some of my mom friends about their experiences of becoming parents, sharing with others and listening to their stories makes me feel like I have a greater connection with them.  I also wanted to get my thoughts down so I would have a record of our first week as a family of four (I am including Charlie), I know things are going to move quickly and I want to be sure to capture as much as possible.  So while Luke sleeps, I thought I would jot down some thoughts from our first week as a family.  (And yes, I know I am suppose to sleep while he sleeps, I just woke up from a nap and he is still sleeping, so bonus for me.)

My birth experience was intense, after about 12 hours of labour we decided to do a cesarean section because I suddenly got a fever and Luke's heart rate started to rise.  Even though labour didn't go like we had planned, we know things went the way they were supposed to because now Luke is here, happy and healthy.

Recovery was overwhelming because I had no idea what to expect from the surgery.  Just a week after, I am beginning to feel more like myself each day, my staples have been removed and almost all of my swelling from the IV has gone down.

Because Luke was delivered by cesarean section, we were required to stay in the hospital for 4 days.  I am grateful for that time in the tiny hospital room with Tyler, Luke and the nurses, for those four days the world outside really did stop and all Tyler and I cared about was figuring out this little man we had been blessed with.  We spent so much time talking, being excited about what the future would hold for us as a family and asking lots of questions.  Our nurses took amazing care of us, answering our questions, ensuring we were getting rest and helping us figure out how to breastfeed.  I was so excited to get out of the hospital but I have to say, I will always have a special place in my heart for room 089 on the maternity floor because thats were this whole adventure started.

When we came home with Luke, I was overwhelmed with emotion and still am.  I can honestly say I have never cried so much in one week.  They are tears of joy of course, I feel like my whole being is overflowing with love and gratitude for my husband, the healthy boy we have been blessed with and the love and support of our family and friends as we adjust to our new role as parents.  I think it is safe to say, I am going to be one of those moms that cries about everything.

I love my son to the moon and back.  Waking up in the middle of the night is hard for me because I love my sleep but I am enjoying his snuggles, his big blue eyes staring at me, his little smiles and faces and simply being with him.  Most of all though, I am blown away by the big new love I have for Tyler, he continues to impress me daily with his daddy skills, pride for his son and how he has been taking care of me.

Its been one of the craziest, happiest, emotional weeks of my life.  I am so excited that this new chapter has started and I can't wait to see what else parenthood has in store for Tyler and I.

Here are some photos from our first week, Tyler and I have also never been so snap happy.  Tyler ran out of storage on his phone already so we had to do a big download.  Here are some of our favourites.

Just a few minutes old.

Meeting aunt Ashley and cousin Blaine. 

The next generation of Lapier boys, everyone better watch out. 

Father son snuggles. 

Bringing Luke home for the first time. 

Nap buddies. 

Our first family walk. 

Big smiles. 

A little rest in his crib.

Luke's first car ride, he didn't love it. 

Charlie and Luke meet for the first time. 

Me and Luke during our first family photo shoot. 

Father sone bonding time. 

Smiles!