Saturday 10 December 2011

Getting in the Spirit

I have been shamelessly listening to Christmas music in my car for the last two weeks.  Well maybe I have a little shame as I have been doing it secretly in my car for the last two weeks.  

I don't have to hide my joy and excitement for the season any longer because Christmas is only a few weeks away and its time to start throwing around those Merry Christmas's.

What have I been doing to get in the spirit?  Heres what:
Listening to my fav Christmas tunes

Wearing red lipstick and a little more glitter than usual (funny story about by glitter I will share later)

Decorating my home

Getting a real Christmas tree instead of our fake one

Drinking eggnog (with a splash of rum of course)

Hunting for the perfect gifts

Reflecting on how blessed I am to be surrounded by so much family and love this time of year

Planning my Christmas dinner (yuppers, I am cooking Christmas turkey for the Browns this Christmas and I am so excited)

Making plans for get togethers over the Christmas holiday

Watching Home Alone and planning to watch more of my favourite Christmas movies i.e. The Family Stone

Saying Merry Christmas

Giving to those who are in need

I am sure there will be more Christmas cheer over the next two weeks which I plan to share.  I am so looking forward to all the dinners and parties with friends and family and just hanging around the house in my cozies with my husband and my dog.

It really is the most wonderful time of the year! 

Wednesday 7 December 2011

A Little Inspiration

Last weekend I attended my youngest sister Emily's dance recital.  She has been attending George Brown for the last year and is finishing her performing dance program this month.

Her show was better than I expected, there was not only dancing but also signing and acting, it was very entertaining.

Any sort of live performance normally inspires me and provokes my thoughts.  Sometimes I get lost in the characters, story, music movement or even thinking about the actual performers and what they are like off stage.  All in all, I find live performance inspiring.

Watching my sister perform was an even more inspiring moment.  She is technically a very good dancer but when she really shines are the moments in which she looses herself in the dance, movement, music or emotion.  She allows herself to go somewhere, a free place where all she needs to ever do is move.  

This is inspiring because we all have the capacity to throw ourselves into something we are passionate about and loose our reservations or negative thoughts.

I hope she holds on to those fleeting moments and allows them to drive her towards success.

My passion has changed over the years and I am working on narrowing my focus so I can let go of my own reservations.  

Following passion is not an easy path to take, the easy path is to take what is handed to you.  Sometimes living your life with passion is difficult because you need to challenge something that is out of the ordinary or try multiple times, its hard work. 

I know that if I live my life with deliberate actions, set goals to meet and allow myself to let go, I will be great.  Thanks for the inspiration Em!

Tuesday 6 December 2011

Women In Networking

Women meet, share, engage, listen and inspire.  I am lucky enough to interact with wonderful women all the time.  Women who work hard, have opinions, are intelligent, are feminine, are mothers and wives.

I woke up this morning rushed through my regular morning routine, helped my husband get his lunch together as he put out the garbage and cleaned the first snow fall off our cars.  After he left, as I poured my coffee, I thought to myself - "how do couples with kids do this?".  It was not easy to get two people out the door, let alone 4.

I went off on my way to start my day feeling relieved that I was simply responsible for myself.

Today I attended my monthly women's networking lunch.  Included in this group are women of all ages but I am one of the youngest.  There is one woman who attends often who was pregnant last month and without her bump this month.  She had recently given birth to her 4th child and was back at it, a month later.  She looked wonderful as she usually does, I always notice that her hair is nicely done, her outfits are trendy and she is always engaging.

I found this inspiring, if she can do it, then I can do it too.  I am not ready to have kids yet but it's something I have been giving a lot of thought to and my husband and I have been speaking about lately.  

I love my job and the freedom to do and be where I want to be when I want to be and I know when I have a child I will loose some of that.  Seeing these women each month who still strive for growth in their professional lives as well as at home, gives me hope that I could learn to balance the type of life I hope to have someday.

One thing I do wonder about though is how much they sleep, this is the really scary part for me because I love my sleep!

Thank you to the women around me who want more and show me that I can have it all with a little hard work.

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Changing The Way I Think

If I say something and I think something, it will come true.???

Positive thoughts are the key to success.

If you don't believe it, it won't happen.

I saw something on TV this morning that struck a cord with me.  A preacher was speaking about how God wants us all to have abundance.  There are many elements that go into having this abundance but the one I have been contemplating most today is how our own thoughts effect our physical decisions and manifest themselves into reality.  I need to change my thought process!!!

I do think sometimes our thoughts manifest themselves into reality so it is important to know what you want and think positively.  But what if you don't think you are worthy of something because it is outside of everything you have ever known so it is difficult to picture a life, a goal, or an experience that you yourself have never had had or seen.

You know what the end result is but you have never first hand seen someone accomplish it from your position so, you are unsure how to create the map to get there.

It has been done and is being done every day by people but how do they do it?  I think they must find people that act as mentors for them.  I know in my own personal life as a young girl I was lucky enough to be put in situations with women who had accomplished things I wanted to accomplish.  As an adult, I know that having someone to look to for advice and guidance is important in all areas of life, i.e. work, personal, being a woman in general.

I have someone to look to - now I need to believe in myself that I can make it happen.  I use to think that this simply meant being willing enough to put in the physical work to make something come to reality but I am now thinking that there is another element.  I must truly believe that I am not only capable of achieving my goals and having what I want but I am worthy and deserving of at least that. 

For some reason this second part is a little tricky for me.  Right now the way I operate is strictly on an earning basis.  Don't get me wrong, I think everyone needs to work hard to achieve their goals but then you become worthy of the benefits of your labour.

I think I need to change my thoughts process and start reaping some benefits.

Tuesday 15 November 2011

Realization

Over the past few years I have been thinking a lot about what kind of adult I want  to be.  Thoughts like "How do people perceive me?", "How can I be a great wife?", "How can I make my community a better place?" and "How can I be a good Mom someday?" are things I have given many hours of contemplation.

As references, I look to the adult figures in my life like parents, mentors and teachers.  I have found as I turn into an adult woman, I view these figures in a very different light.  As a child most adults in my life could do no wrong (I mean they were adults, whatever they do must be correct) and I idolized them.  Now as I become an adult and I am faced with choices, I am finding it difficult to look up to those figures because their choices are not matching up with what I want for my life.

Things I thought I knew, are now items I ponder and question.  This is an exciting realization because this is how I believe we evolve but it's also troubling.

What I am attempting to do right now is choose the characteristics that generally drew me to those figures, focus on those, take them with me, leave the rest behind and make room for me to write the rest of the rules myself.

The next big questions with writing your own rules is of course "How do I know if I am doing it right?"  

I hope to always analyze the way I live my life and continue to grow and learn but I think what I need to do is figure out what I want, what the end result looks like and then create a map that will help me get there.

Time to start planning my route, 26 year old me knows a little bit about what I want. 

Tuesday 25 October 2011

Why I Get Out Of Bed

I have been away from the office for two weeks.  This is my first vacation away from this particular job and my first two week vacation.

I was really looking forward to unwinding, getting married (this was the main reason for vacation) and getting back to basics.  I find myself sometimes getting caught up in my own little world and I was defiantly getting to the point where I needed to step back, take a deep breath and remember what is really important to me - the 4 F's (family, friends, food, fitness).  The other is creativity but all four of those F's inspire me in different ways and often give me ideas for my career.  

So the first week off was hectic as I was tying up any last minute loose ends for the wedding (being a procrastinator there were a lot) but I got them all done.

The second week was perfect, and I got to do all the things I love.  I feel refreshed and I am looking forward to going back to work now with new ideas, perspective and motivation.

A wise woman once asked me "Why do you get out of bed in the morning and do the work you do?"  I responded with "I love my job" which is true.  She continued by saying " On the mornings that you don't like your job, why do you get out of bed and do the work you do?"

At first I wanted to say money, which is also true because we all have bills to pay but after money, I was finding it difficult to come up with an answer.  I spent some time thinking about this question over the next few days and I thought I new the answer.  My time off over the last few weeks solidified my answer.  

I want to work so I can have TIME with the people I love and be able to share RESOURCES with them.  I want to be ACTIVE so I can live a long life and do all the things I want and need to do and I want to FEED people.  Those are the things that make me happy and the reason I do what I do.

I don't have children yet but I hope to be blessed with a family someday and those dreams also motivate me to get out of bed and do the best and be the best I can.  Cheesy, yes, but when I am having a rough day I need to keep these reasons and goals in the front of my mind.

One other quick note.  I learned over my vacation to listen to my body a little more closely than I normally do.  If I feel like I need a nap, its time to take a nap.

I Tied The Knot

A little over a week ago I married Tyler Lapier (the love of my life), we became husband and wife, my last name changed from Brown to Lapier, I got some awesome new family members, my family became part of a new family, Tyler and I began a new family husband and wife and I made the most wonderful memories of my life.

I cherished each moment of the day, tried not to stress the few minor details that did not go as planned and spent time making moments with my new husband.  I am proud to say I did just that and I actually think I had more fun than I expected (the wine helped a little).

I enjoyed our wedding ceremony despite my intense nervousness, I played Next Top Model (with my hot model husband) while taking photos during the day and danced with my guests until the DJ left the building.

Now I am married!  So whats next?  Well, the number one thing on my "To Do" list is writing my thank you cards.  Our special day would not have been what it was without our amazing family and friends.  We had so much help with all the elements of the wedding day but the most memorable thing is the support and love Tyler and I have been showered with throughout the entire wedding process.  The memories that have been made over the last six months, I will hold dearly in my heart forever and would not have changed a thing.  

After the thank you cards, are kids in the future, travel, home renovations (I think these are never ending) or how about concurring the world with my company?  I say yes to all of the above but maybe not in that order.  At this exact moment I am going to just enjoy where I am, in love and loving life.

I am sure my next adventure is right around the corner, I always have my eyes and ears open and I am ready and willing. 

Saturday 8 October 2011

Bachelorette Party

A few weeks ago I had my bachelorette party.  Meghan and Karli planned a wine tour for 15 girlfriends and a wild night in Niagara Falls.  I was so excited about this weekend because I have always wanted to do a wine tour and I love to spend time with the girls.

In addition to my excitement I was also a little nervous.  A few weeks prior I went to Toronto for Kayleigh's bachelorette party and was so excited and was not feeling the same kind of excitement for my own bachelorette.  I think my apprehension was based on the fact that I would be the centre of attention and the reason everyone travelled.  I just wanted to make sure everyone had fun.  

I was also a little nervous because I essentially have two different groups of friends - my Camlachie girl friends (who I have known since I was in grades school) and my Corunna girlfriends who I know through Tyler.  I love them both and feel blessed to have so many wonderful women in my life, I just wanted everyone to have fun and get to know each other.

Once we arrived in Niagara Falls and checked into our room, we got a ride to the start of our bike tour.  The weather was perfect for a bike ride and our setting could not be more beautiful.  We stopped at a perfect little market for lunch and a few swigs of wine from the bottle Karli brought and then we were off to our first winery.

Each winery was beautiful and unique in its own way and it made me want to purchase a winery and move to the niagara region (wouldn't that be romantic?).  We all also decided that this trip was very romantic and we should probably do this again next year but bring our handsome men.




At one of the wineries we decided to stop and relax for a little bit so we bought a few bottles of wine and sat in the vineyard.  We chatted and took in the beautiful surroundings and enjoyed each others company.  As we were all chatting and bonding I took in a little snap shot in my mind and thought to myself "how blessed am I to have such great friends?".  Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve this.  I need my girlfriends so much, I think all women need a good female support group and I have a huge one!

The wine tour finished with everyone feeling a little loose.  We went back to the hotel and got dolled up for a night on the town.  Our evening was filled with drinks, dancing and a few crazy situations (which will stay between me, Niagara Falls and the girls on the trip).

All in all, it was an amazing bachelorette and more than I could have imagined.  Thank you to my wonderful friends you have made my journey to the isle truly special.


Thursday 15 September 2011

Holding It In

Just like most of the human race over the age of 12 I have a busy schedule and I have stress in my life.  In the past I have failed to handle my stress the way I would like to, with class and grace.  I know that I have a tendency to fall into unhealthy habits and vices when I face stress because I am not so great at recognizing it but I am great at shoving it.

Recently I have been feeling quite stressed.  Work is increasingly busy (which is exciting) and a looming wedding day (also exciting) is causing me to feel slightly overwhelmed.  I enjoy the business of my life but sometime its a little much.  

Its a little scary that I feel this way now as I know many women who do everything I do but also have children and many other responsibilities.

Most days I do a pretty good job of keeping my shit together and defusing my stress with a workout, run or a chit chat with my honey or a friend.  Once in a while though I loose the battle with myself and try to escape.  

This is not something I am proud of at all.  So why is it that I can keep it together for months at a time and then one night, I loose my mind? 

Maybe I need to freak out on a regular basis and not worry so much about "keeping it together".  I need to find a balance, which is something I struggle with each day with many areas of my life.  

To finding balance and feeling better tomorrow because I am pretty sure that life is not slowing down anytime soon.

Weekend Review September 9th - 11th

Stressed at work

De stress with lunch by the water

Enjoy being quiet 

Friday was such a long day at work - so excited for my first bridal shower

Leave work early to get dolled up Sex and The City style

Spend a little quality time with two wonderful women

Give a gift

Sip a strong drink

Greetings and hugs 

Chit chat 

Food 

Try to take it all in and make a moment 

Sip my second drink, it doesn't taste as strong as the first

Open gifts 

Feel blessed 

Make a moment 

Feel special 

Appreciate my aunt 

Chit chat, more drinks, late night rescue from my prince in the big red truck

Fuzzy Saturday morning 

Get geared up for shower #2

Tea Party

Games 

Sandwiches without crust

Chit chat with ladies

Judge a paper towel dress contest

Indulge in too many desserts

Kisses, hugs and gifts 

Memories made in the blink of an eye

Indulge in blue shoes (I could be Elvis's wife)

Beach it with the girls

Get silly 

Movie night on the couch

Lazy Sunday morning

Chores

Relax and regroup for a new week

Feel happy for the week I had but sad that it is over

Amazing memories made


Thursday 8 September 2011

What if God was one of us?

There is this man that walks from Corunna to Sarnia on a regular basis.  I first noticed this man over a year ago, I would see him in similar places at the same time of day.

I wondered for a long time why he walks and why he walks so far.  And for some reason, every time I saw him I would feel sad.  I thought that maybe he was lonely, I knew nothing about him but I felt sad for him.  

Sometimes I wonder if he recognizes me like I recognize him when I pass him on the road.

One day about a year ago I saw the man walking with a beautiful border collie, this made me a little more happy for the man because he has a walking partner.  I am sure the dog loves the exercise and he has a companion.  

I still wondered about the man, I left like he had a very special story.  I have passed this man on foot a few times when I have been out for a fun and have been tempted to ask him about his life, but I never do it.

One night I asked Tyler if he has seen the man and if he knows anything about him.  He told me the man was in an accident and was told it would be very difficult for him to walk again.  When he healed and could walk I guess he decided he would never stop.

For me, this story is a little too simple and every time I pass him on the road I still want to know about him.  One thing I do always think when I see him is "What if God was one of us?"

I know it sounds crazy but if God was one of us would we recognize him and would we accept his form?  I am undecided if I actually think God lives in Corunna and walks all over Lambton County with his dog but I can't help but wonder.

Welcome to my imagination.

Tuesday 6 September 2011

Weekend Review September 2nd - 5th

Friday night I stopped on my way home to take in some art 

Wondered

Workout, sweat, unwind, stretch 

Late night walk with a friend

Sweat some more

Wrote down some goals and reasons why I do what I do

Enjoyed being alone at the end of the night

Saturday morning farmers market

Got some different food, got inspired, planned a dinner party

Purchased gifts for bridesmaids

Got so excited 

Work 

Dinner with friends

Planned to attend an Island Dance but the storm crushed our dreams

Girl talk in the garage

Lazy Sunday morning

Walk the dog with a friend

French fries

Grandma Lil's 90th Birthday

Celebration

Dig through old pictures

Played with kids, thought about having kids

Got excited to have my own family

Felt blessed to be a part of a wonderful family

Laughs, dances, kisses, hugs, love, farewells till next time

Monday sleep in

Work 

Run 

Relax 

Dinner

Fort in the living room

Reality TV fest 

Chit chat about wedding with honey

Got excited 

Lost 3 hours of sleep because of wedding excitement

Rough night 

Great weekend 

Wednesday 31 August 2011

August 26th - 28th Weekend



My honey suggested a date night and took me to the river for a picnic

Wine, salad, bread, dip and cheese
Bike ride to the river
Rush because we don’t want to miss the sun set
Captured a few memories in my mind and on the camera
Good food, good conversation, good company with my man and my Charlie
Laughed at Charlie, chatted about life and took in some nature
Bike ride home, and drinks with brother and sister
Saturday morning up with the sun
Run with Karli and Charlie
Got caught up on what's going on in my friend’s life
Decided I need to ask more questions and talk less about myself
Wine bottling with my fiancé for our wedding
Bottled wine, tasted wine, picked out labels, made a memory
Got a little drunk in the am
Lunch at Hana with the girls
Indulged
Wasted the rest of the day on the dock with more girls
Great conversation
Enjoyed learning about people who I didn't know very well and hearing their stories
Felt proud to be a woman
Late night bike ride
Church on Sunday
Prayed
Chores
Opened windows, let in a breeze, felt Fall, got excited
Sunday night dinner with friends
Great conversation, great food, great company
Felt blessed
Zonk 

Wednesday 24 August 2011

The World Revolves Around Me, Right?


My life has been pretty busy and hectic lately and I fear I have been saying "I don't have time for that" way too much.  What I fear most about my busy schedule, is that I am so focused on what is going on in my life (centre of the universe syndrome) that I am not paying attention to the needs of the people around me.

I was chatting with a friend the other day and asked a question about their life.  This turned into a full out conversation about a pretty serious situation they were dealing with and I didn't know anything about it.

I normally think of myself as a considerate person but I don't think I have been acting this way lately.  Its time for me to turn off the wedding to do list and pay attention to the people around me.

They are what matters, they are they ones who make those special moments special and I am not the only person in the world who needs someone to share their stories with.

After all, the reason I started writing this blog was because I needed to share my thoughts, feelings and ideas.  I should do a better job of listening to others knowing first hand this is a need that I have.

Monday 22 August 2011

August 19th - 21st Weekend



Busy, exciting work day

Home for a nap, exhausted

Finish sewing Tyler's costume for the 70's birthday party

Enjoyed getting dressed up in a costume 

Danced with my niece Marley at the party

Fell in love with Marley a little more

Thought about what it would be like to have my own child

Night ride in the truck, wind in my hair, loved my life

Saturday morning, farmers market, BLT's, chores, run

Get dolled up for Steve & Ashley's wedding

Admired my handsome fiance

Fell in love a little more

Enjoyed a full day with some of my favourite people

Ate until I was full, danced until my feet hurt and drank until I went to bed

Sunday lunch date with my sweetheart, river, sunshine and poutine

Afternoon with my fav neighbour

Got silly, got girly, laughed a lot 

Bike ride and pizza with friends and family

Wait out the storm with one more drink

Home for a snuggle

Hit the pillow hard



Tuesday 16 August 2011

Control Freak


Tyler and I were on our way to run some errands and he was driving as he normally does when we go somewhere together.  There were two routes to get to our destination  and as we approached the first option I felt the urge to yell out "Turn left here it's faster, don't you know where we are going?"  

This was one of those rare moments when I processed my thoughts inside before blurting them out and decided it wasn't really that big of a deal, we would get there either way.

This intense feeling to control all the situations in my life has increased in the last five years.  I am the oldest of 3 girls and have always been a little on the bossy side.  I like to take care of others and organize things my way but even more so lately.

I have begun to feel out of control if certain chores are not taken care of before I do something fun.  I normally do my cleaning on the weekend but if I know I am going to have a busy weekend I must get the cleaning done prior to Friday, otherwise I will obsess over the fact that my house is not in order.

I am wondering why this urge to control all things around me is magnified lately?  

Food for thought, thanks for listening.

Sunday 14 August 2011

August 12th - 14th Weekend


Went to my Mom's friend's house to look at wedding invitation options 

Stopped by brothers house to pick up niece

Had a little chat 

Felt tired

Marley and Ash came home

Loaded so much baby stuff and baby into my little Sunfire

Drove extra careful

Unloaded baby and stuff 

Dinner with sister Sara and Marley

Marley got messy 

Marley got tired 

Bath time, fun time

Walk with Sara, baby and Charlie

Beautiful night and great conversation with my sister
Couch, wine, zonked

Saturday morning excited

Over the bridge with mom and sister

Remember mom is an awful driver

Hunt for dresses

Try on dresses

Get sidetracked and shop for other stuff

Eat lunch

Get in a tiff with sister

Find what we are looking for, amazing

Head back home feeling like we got some things accomplished

Snuggle with Charlie

Dinner

Walk with Charlie

Impromptu drinks with friends in the garage 
We chatted and the dogs played

Watched a big storm and got a little scared 

Walked home

Lazy sunday morning

Phone chats and a little planning

Registry round two

Overwhelmed

Grocery's

Chat with Kar about her weekend and got super excited about my bachelorette

Felt lucky for the people I have in my life

Indulged in pasta  

Domestic activities

Chill 

Excited Today


Today I got really excited about my wedding and all the awesome things I am going to do with my friends and family prior to the wedding.

I am going to have 4 showers and a bachelorette party, am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?  Hell yes I am, mostly because I am marrying an amazing man who loves me so good and I love him the same.  Also, because I am blessed with people who want to celebrate this exciting time in my life by throwing me a party.

So the reason I got excited today was because I purchased a few little treats for my special events.  

One thing you will learn about me is that I love fashion!!!  Any fashionista who loves to get dressed up, also loves a good hunt.  I found lost's of treasures on my hunt today in particular some beautiful skirts for $8 each.  Yes you read that correctly $8.

As soon as I know those items are mine, my mind starts racing.  I am putting outfits together in my head with items I have at home, accessorizing and sometimes even thinking of pieces I don't have that would make an outfit even more perfect (add it to the list).  One game that I love to play is to think about how the outfit will transition from summer to fall to winter to spring.  It's a real big score if I can wear it all year round.

Anyways, my upcoming wedding events is my excuse for shopping today.  I wanted to share my excitement for the events and to costume design for such special moments.

P.S. Cher (from the movie Clueless) once said "I never trust mirrors, I always take Polaroid's).  

Monday 8 August 2011

Time Changes Everything


Just like in any relationship, time will change things.  In the last five years I have particularly noticed how this is effecting my friendships.  I have always been a creature with a few very close girlfriends, probably no more than 5.  These are the girls I can call at any time of day with a joy or tears and they will listen and care.  

When I think back on the last 10 years I notice that I have almost gone through stages of my life with certain girls.  Then something happens and that friendship transitions into something it wasn't and a new person enters my life to take me through another phase.  Am I a bad friend?

My oldest best friend (I say this because I have a best friend that I have met in my adult life) and I are currently going through some different things in our lives.  In some areas of our lives we are experiencing complete opposite situations and in others we are at the same place.  We have also recently expressed different opinions about specific values, does this mean we are no longer compatible?  That thought breaks my heart, can't we believe different things but still love and respect each other?  I would hope so.

My fear is that, like past friendships that have changed because of a shift in either mine or my friends phase of life - that our friendship is headed for a shift.

I love this friend unlike I have loved any other friend, which is why it is a fear.  Maybe because I am conscious of past changed friendships, we will be able to push past the diversity and grow our friendship into something even stronger.

This whole cycle could just be me.  Maybe I push people away when they don't agree with what I believe.

I will keep you posted.

Sunday 7 August 2011

August 5th - 7th Weekend

Friday afternoon wedding registry at an awesome art store

Bumped into a friend at the store, exchanged small talk

Friday night boat ride with our favourite neighbours

Island chill, cold drinks, chips, music and a little bit of silly

Remembered that being on the water at night is so magical, took a snapshot in my mind

Relaxed

Saturday morning at the Farmers Market

Got inspired by food, people and flowers

Got excited

Got coffee

Did a friends makeup for an acting gig

Chit chat

Errands, rushing prep for Kay and Andy's wedding

Saw love, felt love, gave love

Celebrated, ate, enjoyed, laughed, cried, drank, danced

Late night bonfire on the beach with my two favourite guys, my fiance and dog

Enjoyed sounds and smells of the beach

Remembered moments from childhood

Sunday morning tea and toast with mom and dad

Stressed about wedding

Great acoustic music on our drive home to Corunna

Relaxed

Chores, purging stuff, tea, little bit of work

Time to get ready for another week and bank a bunch more memories of an excellent summertime weekend!

Tuesday 2 August 2011

Meet Audrey


Hi,  I'm Heather Audrey.  I am a young women in my mid twenties with a lot of exciting things going on in my life right now.  I am getting married in two and half months, I have an amazing job that presents exciting opportunities everyday and an pretty eventful social life.

Recently I have noticed that I have been spending a lot of time inside my head thinking about what I should or shouldn't do, regretting something I said, regretting my past and feeling like past experiences or lack there of, are holding me back from things in my future.

I am so happy with my life and excited about tomorrow, but I am struggling with my thoughts.  I am even beginning to think "wow you shouldn't be thinking like this.

Ok, so now you know I am officially crazy but the point of this ramble is that while I wait to see a Therapist and unleash my craziness on them, I am going to share it with you. 

This blog is a place where I plan to share the thoughts inside my head in hopes that it will offer me some release from myself (or as I like to call her, Audrey)

I believe its in our nature to want to share our story with others and to be herd.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the thoughts I want to share with others and I feel it will overwhelm them as well, so I keep it inside.  I have learned from my past experiences that keeping certain thoughts inside is not healthy and they can only stay bottled for so long.  They want to be released and sometimes they can emerge in a very ugly way.

From now on I am going to share my story, even if its scary at times. 

Until next time…..

Meet Audrey


Hi,  I'm Heather Audrey.  I am a young women in my mid twenties with a lot of exciting things going on in my life right now.  I am getting married in two and half months, I have an amazing job that presents exciting opportunities everyday and an pretty eventful social life.

Recently I have noticed that I have been spending a lot of time inside my head thinking about what I should or shouldn't do, regretting something I said, regretting my past and feeling like past experiences or lack there of, are holding me back from things in my future.

I am so happy with my life and excited about tomorrow, but I am struggling with my thoughts.  I am even beginning to think "wow you shouldn't be thinking like this.

Ok, so now you know I am officially crazy but the point of this ramble is that while I wait to see a Therapist and unleash my craziness on them, I am going to share it with you. 

This blog is a place where I plan to share the thoughts inside my head in hopes that it will offer me some release from myself (or as I like to call her, Audrey)

I believe its in our nature to want to share our story with others and to be herd.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the thoughts I want to share with others and I feel it will overwhelm them as well, so I keep it inside.  I have learned from my past experiences that keeping certain thoughts inside is not healthy and they can only stay bottled for so long.  They want to be released and sometimes they can emerge in a very ugly way.

From now on I am going to share my story, even if its scary at times. 

Until next time…..