I really want to look to God first in everything I do and put Him first in all my decisions, choices and actions etc. I am learning that when I am mindful of Him first, I really am happier in the end.
Anyways, this is a struggle sometimes as a new mom because instead of looking to God to ask "Am I doing the right thing for my family here?" I look around me at my friends, their families and the way they do things, and then I am filled with doubt and confusion.
When it's me, God and my family, I am not worried about how anyone else does things but as soon as I take my focus off Him, I start to compare and then I am left bewildered.
As I drove to the doctor this morning, contemplating some of my dreams and how different they might make my life look, from some of my friends, I then began to doubt myself. Then I remembered that I just need to be worried about what God thinks about my dreams. If my dreams are in line with His will, things will work out. That might make my life look a little different from others but that's ok, and who am I kidding, I have always been a little different anyway.
While most of the time I am ok with my uniqueness, I would be lying if I said I am never self conscious or doubt myself. But I can honestly say this, the more I base my choices on the Lord's Word, the less and less I doubt myself.
So in conclusion, it's time for me to really just keep my gaze fixed on God because in the end, I just need his approval and guidance.